new student, any volunteers to show me round the academy? :)x

Oh hun *reaches through and gives big HUG* I'm sorry you are going through this. you don't deserve to hurt like this I'm sorry that he's hurting hisself too. As for miss Ashlee, if she has to threaten him that she will beat the crud out of you to keep him then that should tell her he doesnt truely want to be with her. I wish I had the right words to say this time. I hate seeing my friends hurt and not being able to amke it better. Makes me feel horrible and useless. But like I said, I'm here if you wanna talk. You don't have to but if you want to, just pm me. HUGS.

Tania I am so sorry I don't know exactly what is going on but I really want both of you to be okay. dealing with things like that are not good for you or for him, especially you and having to worry if he is alright (I understand that trust me- and being helpless to stop it)

Wilda: I'm fine, I just...there's so much going on...I've already talked to him, but I'm not even sure how much of what I told him actually stuck itself to him. I know I shouldn't, but knowing he still thought of me and hurt enough to carve my initial and nickname on his legs...made me feel like I wasn't actually just, like, being used, as my mother said. It hurt me that he hurt himself, but it made me slightly better that he did that. Last year, I...sorta used scissors to write his name on my chest over my heart. But the scar isn't there anymore. I didn't cut deep enough I guess..... Sorry it takes so long, Mobile Internet isn't easy. And, with Ashlee, we used to be good friends...till she went after Shea again... What's so freaking stupid, is that she told both of us that we love each other, and here she is taking him from me!!!!! Well, it's whatever!!! She can have him for all I care!!!...even if I hurt forever...it's still okay knowing I was meant for him. And knowing that I'll forever be his, heart and soul, always..........

Tania please don't hurt yourself

you meet people who touch your soul sometimes, I have, and when its gone.. it hurts

Tania-It's not okay for you to hurt like this. For either of you. I'm not going to sit here and tell you" oh hun you'll get over it. Your only 15 theres plenty of boys out there." I've been there. it doesn't work. If you feel that you two are meant to be then words liek that defiitely won't help. They'll just make you mad and feel liek no one understands. Trust me, I've been there. I doubt it's as deep as you and Shea but I know what its like ot have my heart broke and to feel that way. Try to stay strong and give it some time. One thing I can say for sure is that you never know what the furture holds. Anything can happen. Wow I'm actually listening to a song that kinda reminds me of how you are feeling right now. I wish i could take your pain away

I agree with Wilda.You are young, I personally believe that everything happens for a reason. That people come into our hearts for a reason. I fell in love recently and that love was ripped away (I pmed you about it) it hurt. But I have to realize that if I am meant to have this love, it will happen, and if not... I have to hope that he is okay and happy... even if I have to die inside.

Sam: I made a promise to several people that I'd stop cutting. Yes, I kept a few blades, yes, I still have visible scars, but I will not go back on a promise.

Wilda: Thank you, my mom was the same way yesterday. Except she told me to let go, which by the way, is pretty impossible at this point. Yes I got angry at her, yes, I screamed at her, yes, I feel kinda bad, but when she said she was gonna block his number from my phone...I snapped. She's my mother, yes, but sometimes, it's just ick. And, yeah, I'm the same way with my friends. Right now, I want to fix everyone elses problems because it distracts me from my own. But my mom said I can't help people if I can't help myself (which is wrong!). But anway...I miss him sooooo much, but...I gotta stand my ground.....I can't just let him back in again for the...I don't know, eighth, ninth, tenth time?...I don't know, but I gotta stay grounded and let him know that this time means we'll be together, or it's over...and really...all this is just making my chest ache, tears sting my eyes, whimpers build up in my throat, chills running up and down my spine, and my body feel ice cold.

@Tania: I used to cut myself. I now bite myself when I get super upset.... I can't listen to the song "Just Say Yes" by Snow Patrol .. with out crying

Sam: I can't listen to any song without crying. Especially not the song "Baby I love you" by 1st Lady

That one song .. he gave to move, it was his song for me. It fit us perfecty ... and I listen to it now and it hurts but I can't imagine not having it on my ipod

Shea never did that with us, it was always me doing that...but recently, I told him of the songs "More than a love song" and "The love we had before" both are from Fireflight and...I cried so much to them but, I can't help it...

he was very into music ... I have a song that I think of him "Ghost of A Rose" by Blacmores Night

For Shea.....there's a lot of songs that remind me of him....

everything reminds me of him.. I'd think He'd love that! or on no he would hate that!

Well...right now, with my friend Taylor, when I just look at his eyes. Just thinking about it makes Shea's eyes flash right in front of me at first and then i'll see Taylor's. He's pretty cool, and i like him. Even though he's clearly distant

I have come to find that love is never easy to handle

Yeah, it isnt. But, hey, I'm still alive, Shea is still alive. I'll be able to make sure he hasnt killed himself because i'll see him in school. But...right now...I'm really scared...what if he doesn't go to school on monday and what if my dream comes true and he's just...gone....

Don't think that way, you can't think that way. He will be okay and so will you

Lol, well, check out my profile picture. I'm only leaving it for about a week before I change it back. But it's one of the old pictures I have of Shea.....my Shea...the Shea I cuddled with over summer...the Shea that protected me and held me so close that I felt so warm and safe....my Shea... I'm talking too much...

I know darling... and he will always be your Shea.. those are your memories and no one can take them away. I have amazing memories and emails that I can read and remember the good things

Thanks Sammy wow, like, what time is it where you are? It's almost 10 here.

its 10 mins till 11pm... trust me I can stay up late... like 5am omg I have to be up in an hour late LOL and your welcome... I'm always here if you need me, for anything

Lol, okie dokies then. Shea is kinda playing it cool in this picture, huh? Maybe I should see if I have one of him smiling on here...mya! I just go through 36 hours of Hell all over again and just this little thing is making me smile and blush, girrrrrr him and how amazing I think he is.

you have to think of the good stuff, dwelling on the bed will make you insane .... think of what made and still makes you happy

Yeah, I know. Lol, this is the most recent picture I got from him. Momma straightened his hair and I asked to see it. His hair was straightened yesterday and today also. I am so glad he isn't on here at the moment, lol. Girrrrr, doesn't Shea look gorgeous?