new student, any volunteers to show me round the academy? :)x

Sam love... i sowwie your having panic attacks. it sucks and is scary. I never told anyone this but i had afew when my hubby first fell ill. i felt symptoms similar to yours, the restricted breathing . What sucks is the shock of it happening , u have no idea what to do, whats going on. HUGS it'll be okay. I was coached by a nurse how to handle them, but not for myself for another person- the hubby had them when he first got out of surgery and came home from the hospital but the same methods stopped my attack cold. What the nurse told me to do is talk loud and sternly "I'm OKAY"..."NOTHING IS WRONG".... find a focal point and focus on it... .like i looked at a statue and counted the links on it and described it to myself ....the whole point is to ground yourself to something that is fact, neither negative or positive just real....and take long deep breaths and count to ten. But, if you think u have an anxiety disorder, just ask your doctor about it. I know several people on medication for it, one of my good friends her brother passed away a year ago and she suffers from an anxiety disorder and panic attacks now. The medication helps her ALOT, mild dosages so it doesn't affect daily living. And she said it helps tons to meditate or go for a walk or work out... u know something to help get her emotions out and shut her mind down. There is nothing wrong with having a drink on your day off or something like that... we all deserve a vice. But drinking to forget or to numb is unhealthy an only a temporary fix. IF you want to vent about things feel free to PM me anytime!

Drinking yourself into numbness?! *breathes deeply* I won't yell being that Ela has taken care of that but I've seen what that can do to people Sam, and it's not pretty. its far worse than feeling emotions. I know sometimes its betst to be numb, but not by drinking yourself numb. Remember, we're all here for you. You have my number, you can text me anytime if you want/need to talk or cry or whatever. Also, maybe you should talk to your doctor about it. Maybe he/she could give you a prescription to help. I'm not one to nromally agree with medicating to make people feel better, but one of my best friends is now on anti-anxiety meds and she's in a much better place now. So sometimes, I think its necessary to get better.

HI Tania! How are you?

yeah that was NOT one of my better plans in the world, i really wasn't thinking at the time....i haven't drank since that night.... i want to know whats up and i have talked to my parents about it but they never do anything and yeah I am 21 but i don't have the money to just go to a doctor.
and thank you guys I really appreciate you all being my friends

Wilda: My mom won't drop anything. We aren't allowed to talk outside of school. It sucks.

Sam: It's too long to put here but I'll text you a story I have, you might see things differently.

So tomorrow's my birthday, I have band camp at two and then a pool party at seven... Busy day, busy day...

that night when i was trying to drink into numbness.... i wasn't thinking... i was... lets just say I am lucky I just fell asleep. I promised Ela i wouldn't drink and I entend to keep that promise to her

edit:
Sorry if I freaked you guys out last night .. didn't mean too...

oh and
love you Becca! thank you for being an amazing friend

Tania Belikova wrote:

Sammy, I love your banner!!!! Could you make me one in your spare time? With Sebastian in it and Mei-rin without her glasses? Pretty please lol, I admit though, Ciel's eyes are gorgeous!

I didn't see this.. YES of course I can! I'll just need a bitof time w/ homework and stuff but I would love too make it! thank you.. I adore! Ciel XD

..I double posted o_O ... will the Forum gods kill me? I am not sure.. *hides*

Thank you Sam! And it's ok love, just please don't do that again. We love you and want you to be safe! I love the banner! Thank you for making it!!!

Your welcome Becca ... at head doc..

Sammy, I love you I miss and love everyone. Things are...kinda crazy with my addiction to cutting and Dominos making sure I don't drink anything, even though I really wanna try Russian Vodka -shakes head clear- anyways. Dominos is...still a dork, things are getting better, but he's always so worried about me :/ I don't know what to do or say to make him feel better and believe that I'm fine -.-' meh, he's so stubborn. Well, I'm done for the day

HAPPY SWEET 16 BECCA!!!! I hope you are having a fabulous birthday!! HUGS!

So.. first off Becca Darling! have you had an amazing Sweet 16? what have you done today?

I went to the doctor.. i am on Nortriptyline to take and i am getting an MRI on friday

Happy birthday Becca! Hope you had a fun day!

Sam- so i googled your medication. Lol. I know i know playing google doctor isn't good. But, i didn't like what google told me about that medication. It is only used for migraines on an off label purpose... meaning studies found it has an effect on pain but it wasn't invented for that purpose. It's primary purpose is to serve as an anti-depressant. So i have a pouty face on, cause i would like to grill your doctor. But, i'm not a doctor so i'll just take my pouty face in stride. lol.

And just so you know. You may want to have someone take you for the MRI, not take yourself cause everyone reacts different to these tests. Some people arent phased at all. Some get sick. When my hubby gets em, the machine's noise and general situation of being in the machine gives him headaches. and he gets his MRI's done both with and without contrast .... the contrasts jacks up his body-he feels nausea and sick.But he is a brain cancer patient so that just may be him and his situation. Everyone is different though. My father had no affect with his MRI's. My 9 year old niece goes through them just fine, though i dont know if they administer it differently to children. My cousin also went for one and he said he felt funny for an hour or two afterward but nothing stopping him from driving himself home and going about his day afterwards.. Just sharing what i know from people who had them cause i know you must be nervous about it. I feel better going into situations if i have insight about what it actually is. So, if you want to know anything else, feel free to ask. I'll ask the hubby about his MRI's experience and if there is anything you should know. But, it's a pretty standard test. This one lady i've met in the hospital while the hubby was in radiation treatment.. said her only issue of a MRI of the head was the boredom of laying there. Lol. I miss her, she always made me laugh. But anyways, My hubby's MRI's takes about an hour or so. Sometimes more. Mostly less than an hour though. I dont think you have anything to be worried about though. I would assume it's just a precaution to send you for a MRI... to rule out anything serious and not overlook anything. i anticipate a good clean scan . DOnt worry, things will be okay once they tweak your meds and figure out what works for you. I'm just SO happy you finally went to a doctor and i hope you can finally get some peace. HUGS.

I know about it being an antidepressent.. i looked it up too! haha! he gave me a small dose and only 30 pills i take once a day.. i had one last night .. i don't feel too wierd. I will see how i feel on these hopefully in the long run it helps. I am going with my mom to the MRI .. i am making her go with me... too scared to go alone. so today i am treating myself alllll day long XD

Sammy, I'm so sorry...I used to take an anti-depressant and my mom took me off because I didn't have to worry about depression, I was more reckless.

Tania Belikova wrote:

Sammy, I'm so sorry...I used to take an anti-depressant and my mom took me off because I didn't have to worry about depression, I was more reckless.

i will see how i feel.. right now i feel a bit off and i am having one side affect.. dry mouth.. need water now o_O

lol xp

hmmm so your doctor secretly put you on an antidepressant with a dose of pain meds and he didn't mention the antidepressant part? idk how I feel about that, but I don't like it. There are plenty of meds he could have put you on with the sole purpose of getting rid of pain so why throw in one like that O.O I just don't get why he didn't tell you. Anyways, I'm glad you're taking your mom with you to the MRI. I've had a couple of those before and they aren't fun. I didn't have any side effects from it, but I'm a bit claustrophobic so the small enclosed space freaked me out a bit. Keep us posted hun!

Thank you loves! I had a fantastic day yesterday! I went to band camp where I turned a hundred shades of red thanks to my fabulous friends and then after the pool party, I went Alexis's house where we stayed up until four! And then I just got home. Something odd happened though, at the pool party Davian was there.... And apparently he still notices me... He made a comment about how I'm getting toned and tan and about my swim suit... When I got out of the pool and walked around him, he followed me with his head until I was behind him and when I went around the other side I could tell he was watching me, and then when I got out of the pool and said something to one of the other guys there, he thought I called him over.. What I said didn't even sound like his name. That's the second time that's happened.. It's weird...

I did put on the paper of questions that i had depression and anxiety symptoms.. he thinks my headaches come from my anxiety. hopefully it doesn't affect me too too much. I will find out more tomorrow when i get the MRI

Ahh, that explains it a bit Sam. Hopefully he's right and its nothing more serious *crosses fingers*

Becca hun, Davian is a typical guy and you are growing up and coming into your own. Your body is most likely filling out and thats probably what he meant. Guys notice things like that and its only natural when they look. It's a compliment. I say take it in stride and try not to let it get to you but if he keeps on and it makes you uncomfortable, ask him to stop. Hopefully he'll respect that.

random thought : I wish we all were neighbors cause you all are awesome My "real-life" friends got nothing on my SB folk.

Lol Tasha, it's a weird but cool thought!

haha me too Tasha! Or at least within driving distance of eachother

Wilda: I've already filled out, even though I'm still kinda filling out a little more.

Tasha: That would be awesome! We could see each other every day! Haha. When I'm old enough and I have the money, I'm going to come visit each and every one of you. Haha. (:

Here's another random thought... Did anyone else notice we have over a hundred and fifty pages from conversations that have gone on for about two or so years? Haha.

That would be so cool if we were all near each other.. we should organize a Shadow Bite Convention.. haha Shadow Con 2011

So I have been on meds 3 days and besides feeling a bit tired i feel okay.... still got the headaches but i guess the meds need to get into my sistem... got the MRI i was okay but i hated it... AAANNNDDDD

I got my navel pierced XD