new student, any volunteers to show me round the academy? :)x

Not really. I got really really sad yesterday cause I realized this is the second birthday in a row my father will be in the hospital. :-(

Wilda - Whoa! I am jealous too!

Tasha - I'm sorry about that And happy bday for the 5th! Have fun!

Ela - Aha, yepp definitely not counting there hehe!

Sam - Aw! Same, its fun isnt it?

Rhia - AHH! 16! You better tell us all about it! Happy bday for then! Have fun!

Tasha I'm sorry about your dad

Sammy I'm just going to be having a couple friends over (all girls of course*

Chloe don't worry I'll tell you guys all about it

awh Tasha, I'm so sorry. That really sucks but hopefully next yr he will be at home celebrating your brithday with you.

Have fun at your party Rhia!

Thanks Wilda

You guys, wait scratch that, you girls are the best friends I could ever want and I seriously wish I could give all of you a hug

i'm all for hugs... HUGSSSSSs

*sends hugs to Tasha*

Hugs are awesome

Group hug! *sends HUGS to everyone*

LOL *sends hugs back to Wilda*

That was just too awesome

*hugs everyone!*
Hey girls ^__^ hope you all are doing well... miss you guys. I wish I could be online more

HI Sam! How are you?

Hey Sammy love the new signature

*sends hugs to Sammy*

How are you?

Thank you Rhia

I'm good, looking for a job still and trying to be online more often... sister is graduating from High School this sunday

I saw on twitter about you going to an interview Sam. How did it go?

Oh you went to an interview! How was it?

Hey girls! Talked to Becca today. She is doing good and things are much better now. She misses everyone and might be back soon-possibly this weekend

Thanks Wilda. (: I decided I couldn't wait until the weekend to get on.
Ladies, this time I'm back for good. Everything that happened with Davian... I think it's over. I'm not one hundred percent sure I told you the full story so here it is. Two days before our seventh month anniversary, Davian said he was bisexual. It crushed me. Two days after our seventh month anniversary, my mom made me break up with him. We decided to try to be friends. That week we did nothing but fight and Sunday night he attempted suicide again after one of our fights. He got himsel committed for a week and when he came back he was different, and then he got worse. He told me he would wait for me and then make careless comments about how I wasn't his girlfriend anymore. When I would get hurt by these comments, he'd go throw himself at his ex girlfriend or any other girl he could find while I was right there. While we were dating he also got into drugs and never stopped drinking. When he got out of the hospital he told me he wasn't bisexual anymore. Then he proceeded to lead me on and play with my heart while he did drugs and drank and through himself at other girls. He told me they were just distractions. I had began cutting again not too long ago. One night about a month ago he tried holding my hand even after afew weeks before we got into a fight when he accused me leading him on. I denied him and then went on to ask him if he'd change or if I needed to move on. He told me he didn't want to change. About ten days ago he started dating this girl four years younger. He's a junior and she's in eighth grade. When I asked why I wasn't good enough the conversation grew heated and he pulled the suicide card again. After I made sure he knew not to out me through that again, I got off the phone with him. The last day of school he kept trying to act like we were dating. Worst part is, his girlfriend likes him so much that if I told her, he would deny it and she would believe him over me even when she knows the truth. Then I wouldook like the jealous exgirlfriend. When I came to St. Charles it was to get away from everything and he just wouldn't let me. I'm scared that when I get home, if something sets him off and he's around me, I'm scared he'll beat the crap out of me or sexually assault me. I told him today to leave me alone. A lot of my friends have gotten me to quit cutting again and I have one more person looking out for me besides Forrest. Trouble is, there also one more guy who wants me for one thing. Luckily, Davian can't hurt me emotionally anymore. Only pshically.
Anyways, enough about me. What have I missed? I don't have time to go back and reread things.

Sam - Ooh, I really hope you find a job you love!

Tasha + Wilda + Rhia - Sorry I missed out! *HUGS EVERYONE!*

Becks - I am so sorry honey!I don't know what it is like to go through half the stuff you did, but for the bits I know about I truly am sorry He has no right to be treating you that way, and I'm glad that you know this as well and are strong enough to let go of him. He's being rather pettty and acting out. Well done for doing what you are. I'm glad your friends have stopped you cutting and that they are looking after you. I would love to say 'dont be afraid he wont do anything' but I dont know him well, so I say make sure you have someone with you and that you dont see him alone. Was it you who said you do karate? Cause use it if you do

Well, yesterday it was Gracies 7th bday We had a picnic and a meal out and I bought her a cute outfit and a headscarf. Then I got her a dollhouse, because she's always wanted one to go with her Malibu set. (its all to do with dolls ) But she's in a mood with me atm and wont speak to me
I've just started packing for tomorrow when I go to stay at St. Marys, Ascot for a trial. Only I'm not too excited right now

Hows everyone? Looking forward to summer?

ah Becca, I'm SS you've had to go through all that. No girl deserves to be treated like that. I'm glad to see you in a better place and that you have friends looking after you, but don't hesitate to text me or even call if you need to talk. I know I can't be there in person but I sure as hell can listen. Take this situation as bad as it is, and learn and grow from it which you already have. You are even stronger now than you were before b/c of it. Take care of yourself and like Chloe said, keep someone with you at all times when you know you'll see him just to be on the safer side. Wouldn't hurt to take a self defense class. In fact I think all girls should take it. We're all here for you hun. HUGS!

btw, you haven't missed much just little small talk here and there. I don't even remember half of it. But here's what I know atm. Tasha just got back from visiting her in-laws- to be in Texas and her dad is back in the hospital and will possibly have to have surgery-she'll be able to fill you in on all of that. Um, Sam is looking for a job...Chloe is going to a boarding school where she can do Ballet. Tania has been mia for a bit dk whats going on with her. Rhia celebrates her sweet sixteen on the 4th and Tasha's b-day is the 5th. As for everyone else, idk. It's been fairly quiet in this thread.


As for me, I got a puppy! I get to pick him up on Saturday!!! Idt I've announced that yet lol He's a 3-4 month old mal-shi (maltese/shih tzu). He needs a name though. Hubby doesn't like the one I picked out so I'm open to suggestions!!! He's a small ball of white and golden brown fur

Chloe, I hope you have a great time at St. Mary's Ascott and I hope you love it there! Don't worry too much about Gracie, I'm sure she'll be talking to you in no time!

Chloe! Hey darling! Omgoodness Gracie's birthday?! Happy birthday Gracie!! Sending her ( and you) lots of hugs and love! I'm SO happy to hear she reached her 7th birthday. I hope you has MANY MANY MANY more to come. And good luck Chloe on the school. I hope it's really awesome. I always wanted to go away to school, but never did. And now I'm over that stage of life. I want a job now lol.

Wilda! Congrats on the puppy. Do the kids like it?

Becca- I'm sorry my love. That's alot of emotional and mental abuse you've been through. I'm sad you weren't around SB during that time cause atleast we would of all been sending u advice and our love. But you had all our concern and love to begin with, so it's okay. I'm proud of you for getting through that. I just have to say I don't like Davian at all now. Regardless of what he may be going through, it's not right nor fair to put you through all that. I understand in relationships its tolerance to undergo a ltitle bit of that while each person works out their insecurities and issues as an individual and as a couple as they mature and stuff. But, a LITTLE bit... the hubby and I put each other through some bad times cause it was all we had, each other, so we targeted each other, but never so forcefully, violently or hurtfully. If you're truly worried about physical abuse just take precautions. I for one, think Davian is having an identity crisis. Maybe he hasn't come to terms with his sexuality. For me, living in NYC, being gay or lesbian or even trans-gender isn't a big thing. But i understand outside of big cities and little towns and stuff it's a really really big thing. Not only does the person have to deal with emotional and mental battles to come to terms with their preference, they also have to worry about acceptance and tolerance from family, friends and the community. Again, i say , it's not excusable for his actions. He should seek therapy. Seriously.

I hope for the best for you Becks! I just want you to be happy and drama free. I think you tried your very best to be there and HELP Davian and for the relationship to work.I understand there was many good times too. But, sometimes people just don't work together. It was honest and true for that time but maybe not forever. I think you should do what you got to do to close that portion of your life. Accept the remember the good times.Tuck away the bad times as motivation and learn from it. And move on. You're young and i have complete faith in you and your future.

And Wilda is right about my update. My dad's been really really ill this time. He's heart valves aren't working. He's swollen up three times his normal size with water retention cause the heart valves aren't working. The lack of blood flow caused him to have a stroke last week. he was blind, and crazy and strapped to a bed for a couple of days. I saw him yesterday for the first time. He has moments where he is crazy and he moments where he is dazed and confused and just vacant . But with me, he is better than with anyone else. He was excited and happy and normal talking for most of the day. he only acted up and started fighting with the nurses when i was leaving cause he was tired and they kept waking him up. He is being transferred to day, to be monitored for surgery. He had an infection in his blood, and it's clearing up so they want to get him to the bigger hospital and ready for surgery. The heart surgeon will monitor and evaluate him today and plan a course of action.

I was away for two weeks cause the hubby had a two week break from his cancer treatments. My dad was more a less alright when i left and he encouraged us to go. So we did. I love it in Texas. I would live there if i could. the hubby and I go today for a check up with his radiation docs and handle some bills. Then next week the hubby goes for testing and to see his oncologist in which they decide on the next phase of treatment. Since it's stage 3 brain cancer, aggressive, they told us to expect more treatment, but at the same time they told us cause of his young age and his beside the cancer, good health, he may not need more chemotherapy. It all depends on what the testing says and how affective the radiation was. We have our fingers crosses for good news.

Chloe~ I look back at some of the poems I wrote, and to be honest, I really should've been getting out in November. That's really when everything escalated. I realize now that the mental abuse started three years ago. As for him not doing anything to me.... A while ago, I would agree with you and say he wouldn't hit me. If you told me I was gong to go through this, I would've laughed and said you were crazy. I would've said that things get bad sometimes, maybe a lot ore than other people but we work through it and we love each other and he would never hurt me in any way. Now I'm faced with the harsh reality that everything was a lie. He said he would never so what he's done to me and it makes me wonder what else he's done. He did drugs and drank a lot when he told me he stopped drinking while we were dating. Makes me wonder if he would've cheated if he got the chance, makes me wonder if he did. I don't know, nor will I really ever know because I can't ask him and expect him to be enough of a man to give me an honest answer. And with the drugs and alcohol, any little thing could set him off and I could pay dearly for it if I was there. I'm not putting myself in that position. Forrest and hes family know exactly what's going on and they will keep me as safe as they can when they're around. I wish I knew karate... Even if I did it wouldn't really help me. One of his hands can fit around both my wrists and he can fend me off, the only advantage I'd have is that I can out run him if I have to but if he catches me. I'm done, especially if he backs me into a corner.... I made a horrible mistake in ever dating him, much less falling for him. All the signs werte there from the night I met him and I didn't see them until now.

As for Gracie... I miss her and I hope she or any of you ever go through any of this.... There's a lot of things that have happened to me in the past, not just this. I hope none of you ever go through this or any of the horrible things I've been through. I'm glad she made it to seven. (: How much about this situation does she know?

Gracie: Gracie, dear. Please do me a favor? Don't be mad at your sister. Please? Happy late birthday. I love you. Stay safe.

Chloe: As for boarding school.... Have fun but do be careful...

Wilda~ Not a lot of my friends even knew dear, it was simply Forrest and his parents. The only reason the knew is because I can't keep things from them and they could see the toll it was taking on me.

Tasha~ In a way, even if I was on SB, things would still be the same because I'm just now able to share this with you ladies. I left because I didn't feel comfortable here anymore because I was keeping this. I was scared to let it out because I didn't want to drag you guys down. And I also had to deal with this on my own. Knowing you guys care helps though. He has told me he knows he's bisexual and he doesn't care. The entire school knows because he's told a bunch of people. I had to find out from this dude who I don't talk to very much. Davian didn't eve have the balls to tell me. He's in therapy. I told him he needs to get himself right with God and that there are people who an help him do that, but I can't be one of them. I've told him several times he's being a dick to the people who care and pushing his friends away and if he's getting mad at his friends for trying to be there then we aren't as close of friends as I thought.

As for happy and drama free... I'm getting there. (: With the help of a few guys.... There's this guy Hunter who I talk to almost every day. We met in a dance class but here recently, we've been hanging out at our Drama meetings after school with Forrest so we can fix up the Drama room. On the last day of school he came over and hung out. He almost kissed me but didn't because he wanted to be sure it was for the right reasons. He understands I'm not ready for a relationship and we're still getting to know each other, but he makes me laugh every time I talk to him. (: As for Forrest.. (: Him and his family are really helping me through this. We've talked at least once a day since I've been in St. Charles. The last time I was so angry at Davian for not leaving me alone, he took every opportunity he could to make me laugh and smile.. He's good at it too.. Life is becoming bearable, no, it's becoming enjoyable. I, however, hate what I did to myself. I now have two more scars on my hand and two more on my wrist.... IT won't happen ever again, and I know this time, it's true.

I've been reading your Facebook posts. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad but I'm happy to hear about your hubby. Stay strong love. He'll make it through.

On a lighter note:

Rhia: In case I'm not on, happy 16th. (: I'm not too far behind. Just one more month for me.

Sam: Didn't you have a job when I left SB???

Tasha: If I'm not on, happy birthday love.

Wilda: Congrats on the puppy dear. Maybe name it something like... Uhm, I'll get back to you on that...
Haha.

Ladies: I will warn you, I've changed a lot since I left. I think for the better. But, please don't be alarmed. I think you'll like the new me. (: I do.

Wilda - White and gold? Hmm I'm sure theres something that colour thats got a nice name!! I cant think of it Its hard to think of dog names Vladimir lol! And thank you Wilda

Tasha - I am so sorry! I had no idea about your father, and I didn't even ask! Well you clearly mean a lot a lot to him if he's better with you than anyone I hope he gets better and you will both be in my thoughts Again, I'm so sorry! And I'm glad you liked it in Texas. And thats good news about your hubby, good thing he's a healthy chap Thanks. As am I!

Becks - You are talking like you are blaming yourself for this. Getting in to the relationship and everything thats happened. Well let me tell you IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You couldn't have predicted any of this, even if you knew he was trouble. You gave him a chance, and people deserve chances - but he's messed this up all by himself. If he did cheat then he's an ass and I hate him even more than already. No one treats any of you girls like that! I'm so glad to Forrest and his family, thank him for me? You get the adrenaline in you 'fight or flight', hopefully that will be enough if he comes near you! Gracie only knows the basics, that you were dating someone called Davian and having trouble. I haven't updated her on this, and I don't think I want to go into detail with her/ I'll just say he did a bad thing, and its something unforgiveable and we hate him She'll agree when I tell her he hurt you! She's in bed at the moment, but I'll tell her you say that I'll get back to you her reply, if I can get on the computers Dw, she's not mad at me anymore! And thanks, I will be, I'm so nervous

All - Thank you for everything! Thanks for the wishes well for tomorrow, it makes me feel a lot better about it And thanks for Gracies birthday wishes, she loves you all you know that Seriously don't know what I'd do without you!!

P.S Becca - We loved you before and we love you now Don't thi nk you have to change for anyone, but yourself if you really want to Oh, and I am very fond of Hunter and Forrest! They are great friends for making your life enjoyable!!!!!!!

@Becca: Hi Darling ^_^ I'm so sorry all of that happened, but i'm glad you are getting better and healing. I had a job ... I was let go and now looking for another. its not going to well.. nothing seems to be happening.. :/ ..

@Wilda, Chloe, and everyone: I had an interview at Chick Fille which I think went well but we'll see what happens

so my sister graduates this sunday and my dad comes into town tomorrow

so I will be online much less this weekend than normal.... my dad has issues with me being online

Thanks Becca

Sammy I'm happy your dad's coming into town

Sammy...you know where i am if you want to escape for a bit lol

Becca: I am glad that you're getting things back on track, so sorry that you had to go through all that, but i am sure we'll all love the new you

Rhia: Happy birthday my dear, for when you turn 16.

Exactly 1month to tomorrow (Friday) i will be 17!

Chole...i hope Gracie is well and she had a fab 7th birthday! and i hope you are well too