new student, any volunteers to show me round the academy? :)x

Chloe ~ Yeah, we should have gotten like three, four months? Oh well, it would never be enough anyway
Drinking? Noo Nothing much to tell, actually. It was just the two of us, we were at her place all the time for two whole days. But it was awesome, we had fun, watched a movie, laughed all the time.. I didn't get much sleep, though.

Amy ~ I'm so sorry about your uncle passing.

Amy: So sorry about your uncle love.

Chole: Welcome. lol. She is silly.
Well. I just got back home two days ago.

Welcome Back Chloe!

Rhia, I hope you have a great time!

Amy, I am ss about your uncle.

Becca, idk whats going on but I hope you'll be ok and that everything gets better.

Rhia ~ HAVE FUN!

Amy ~ Oh, im sorry about your uncle! Of course it is still sad. I hope your father eases and isn't such a mess soon

Maris ~ Cool! Well, im glad you enjoyed yourself! But yeaa, i always get that, sometimes its hard to sleep at a sleepover. Has anyone ever fallen asleep though like really early because they were so bored? Hehe

Becca ~ Yes, very Oh, tell us about your time away?

Wilda ~ THANKYOU! Hope you are well

Wilda: I'm dealing with some issues concerning my father.

Chole: Well, while I was gone I went to my cousin's (who I'll never trust again) and then I went to my Grandma's (where I baby sat but still over all had a good time).

Hey, ladies. Sorry I'm not as frequent in my visits.

But I am here to tell you all that I am finally home!

Amy~ I love your intro for me:). And for the love of me I should shoot myself. I am so sorry about your uncle. Why must bad things happen to good people like you him and everyone else on here. Not me, I guess deserved what I got.

Wilda~ Hey, hunny! Sorry, baby talk is all I'm learning these days. I'm tired.

Rebecca~ Becca Bubbles, dear mercy. I do not deserve any welcomes or good thoughts. You guys are the ones that matter to me, not myself. I hope my good thoughts helps smooth out what's going on.

Chole~ Where did she go?

Maris~ Nice to meet you. I hope the girls didn't scare you with my accident. It doesn't really bother me, really. I will bounce back. But please tell me how are you? I haven't gotten a chance to meet most people on here, but you are newest to our possie right ladies?

Well I am here to say that the US pics are going to be the last of the pics before she is born.

Ash ~ They only people whp deserve bad things to happen to them are those who do bad things. You don't do bad things. But good and bad things happen to everyone. Things are getting better for my dad. He talked to me today. He hasn't done that since we found out but he's still not talking a lot. I just have to be patiant with him. It kind of hit home because it could have been him this past February.

Becca ~ I hope things work out with your father. I don't know what's going on, I don't need to know, but things are bound to get better.

I'm feeling better, not so overwhelmed. Work is work but hears something interesting. The parents and some co-workers want me to stay and work with the school age kids in the fall. They like what I've done in the schoolage room so it's cool but I have to refuse. I have a good job that pays more and is in the field I studied, for the school year. There is no way I am giving it up to work a split shift and do next to nothing with the kids.

Ash ~ Yeah, I guess I'm the newest. I'm fine, being a bit lazy these days.. I'm glad you're better and back home

Chloe ~ Not me It's impossible to be bored with my friends. Some people would just call them weird, though

Becca ~ I hope everything works out, whatever it is you're dealing with.

Amy ~ I'm glad you're dad is getting better. Just be patient, he needs time.

Ash: First off, I love the nickname. Secondly, you do deserve welcome backs and don't argue because I have people to back me up on this right ladies? And you matter to us. And Chole was camping.

Ladies: Thanks so much for your support and for not prying. I'm willing however to share what's going on. As some of you know.. I'm having problems dealing with a choice my father made about 14 years ago. Because of this choice I have been reevaluating my ENTIRE and I do mean ENTIRE life. Who I am, who my friends and family are, if I'm where I wanna be in life, how I can change myself to be who I want to be, etc. I will tell you right now, each and EVERY one of you on this site, do not need to change yourself for me or anyone else. Do not be scared that I won't like the person you are. I love each and every one of you the way you are. You are beautiful on the inside and out, don't ever change that. I mean it, I don't just say things just because as I'm sure you've all noticed. When I speak, it's what I think. On to another topic, because of me reevaluating my life and choices, I'm going to be a bit... moody, I guess you could say. If I offend any of you I'm apologize before hand and if you want to take it up with me if I do offend me, feel free. Be as blunt as possible. I'm telling you girls this because I can trust you and I want you to know what's going on. I don't want you all to worry if I seem a bit off. It's because I'm changing myself into a better person.

Becca ~ I am with you on Ash deserving the welcome backs. As for the changing yourself, we all need to do that from time to time. I think I need to. So it is understandable that you will be a bit off. If you want to talk just pm me or send me a message on facebook. Maybe we could help each other. I need to learn not to stress out about everything. So I wish you luck.

Ash I told you so. =-p
Thank you so much Amy for understanding. IF you need to talk message me as well. I hope we can help each other.

I see everyone.

Well some of you are probably not gonna like what I get your permission for.

Guys? Can I tell you the full truth about me and Jeffery's situation?

ash- what's up? whats the situation?

Tell us. Whatever it is we're here.

Maris ~ Haha! Yeaa, but why care about what judgemental people think of you 'ey? I mean they spend their time doing things like planning what their next comeback line will be, or what next to call people, why should we waste our time on them. I mean fair enough, I have friens that are like that, and they are nice people and I love them, but they are pathetic? I love weird people (as long as they arent creepy type ) Weird is different, and different is good. And good, well that's how everyone wants to feel and be

Becca ~ Honey, you don't need to change into a better person? The person you are is beautiful and amazing and strong and supportive. We all love you for who you are. Like what you said to us in your message; Don't change yourself for us or anyone else? Be who you are love If you feel like the person you are atm isn't truly yourself then I understand, and I will still love you the same when you "change"

Ash ~ Well everytime you comment, my reply is 'Over the moon' I'm glad you are finally home and well again! Or on the mend Yes, I was camping with some friends, and I met some new people at the cmapsite too Great fun!
And of course you can tell us the truth love Whatever it is, I'll stick by you So go ahead and let it out..

Chole: I'm happy with myself but I see somethings that I want to change. Things that need to be changed. i need to learn to forgive myself for some things I've done. Otherwise I can't move forward. And thank you for your kind words.

Ok.

Well, that's another thing. Everyone, hmm, how do I put this. I wanted to tell you and only you for the moment, that well we are giving Mackenzie up. I know this probably doesn't make a bit of sense given how everything has played out, but I've kind of had my eyes opened in all of this shit I have been through in the past few months. I don't like being hit by Jeff, I didn't appreciate Dylan beating the shit out of me and raping me, not to mention putting me in a coma. I'm tired of it. I'm leaving Jeff and I'm telling you everything we have been keeping from you.

This was decided way before the coma incident. I old Jeff I was tired of him hitting me and the fact that if he was this way with me, Mackenzie would end up in my place if I died. I gave him back his engagement ring a month ago and told him tha I loved him, but I didn't love him enough to suffer a beating for. He told me that he loved me too and only wanted me to be happy. And if he said anything to you guys about missing and loving me it wasn't a lie. He loves me and I love him with so much burning passion it's hard to leave, but it's for the best. We are giving her to a lovely coupl I have known almost for my entire life. They already love her, she has gotten most of the ultrasound pictures. Jeff and they will be in the delivery room when she is born. But we have an open adoption so we will be able to see our daughter grow up, but it will be hard. So no pictures due to the couple actually raising her. Jeff, remember when I told you he graduated early so he's going to college next month. That was another thing we had to look out for, for all three of us. I want to travel and go to college so does Jeff, and well we want our child to be cared for and not disprivillaged. So We gave up the chance to be her rightful parents, but I choose her future of good fortune and a healthy life style instead of a reversal effect.

I love her believe me and so does Jeff, but I want what's best for her. This couple are like my second parents, so I know they will raise her right. Of course I will help out and everything as will Jeff, but it will bring tears to my eyes everytime I leave her, but it will be worth it when I see her graduate with that diploma to be a future doctor, lawyer, or whatever her little heart desires. Do you understand where I am coming from? I want my baby and Jeff to have a decent future, so that I can go off and start my culinary work. I want to be a proffesional cupcake maker and own my own little big buisness. So that way I can take my daughter where ever she wants when I have the money.

So do you understand why I can't keep her? I know it may sound selfish but it is far from it. I can't provide for her, neither can Jeff, and well I want her to be loved and welcomed into the world with open arms. Plus we will get to see her tons of times.

You already know how I feel.

Yes, yes I do.

I still want you all to know I love Mackenzie more than you know. And she will know her biological family and her adopted one, she will be very loved.

I replied to you by PM I'll be here to help you dear

How are you dealing though?

Ash- ok now i know what that thing you were talking about in the pm is about. I will reply to you there. Just know, I support you guys and am here for you.

Becca, I am so sorry you are going through a hard time. Everyone changes. We go through life and have experiences that just automatically change who we are. It's ok to change. It's ok to be moody at times. It's all a part of growing up. I hope you work through everything and I am here if you ever wanna talk or just vent.

Ash ~ Even though I know you love Mac, I feel like you are making the right choice. You are giving Mac a very special gift. Not only will she have you and Jeff, she will have another set of parents to love her. And you are giving her a great future, along with yourself. It took a lot of strength and common sense to realize that you and Jeff can't provide for her. I feel like you are doing the right thing. Then when you are older and have your business up and running, you can provide for your family and give Mac things you can't now. As for Jeff, I think your right about not being with him. No woman deserves to be hit. You are making the safest choice for you and Mac. I wish I could say I understand how you feel but I can't. I can only imagine how you feel. But you have to know that in the long run, you are making the right choice. I will support you no matter what. Just know that your sisters are here for you and that you are loved. Take care. *huge hug and kisses*


Okay so I found out that my grams has something in her lungs. I have decided not to really stress about it until we know what's going on. She is having tests done because she used to be a smoker but I'm not going to stress too much. I will wait to see the results. Unitl then I will enjoy the time I spend with her, like this Sat. WE are taking my cousin to a corn festival, which will be fun. I just hope I can keep this up. I am scared, I'm not going to deny that but I just dhouldn't stress until we know more, so that is the first step in trying to change me.

Next thing, Iwent to ascience museum with the kids from work. I had a blast with the kids. The main exibit was dinasours. They had robotic ones which was cool. Then we saw the mummies, gems, space, and aother things. It was a great day. Tomorrow we get to go bolwing again. I just hope it doesn't rain.

Chloe ~ Yeah, I totally agree with you.

Ash ~ I think you're doing the right thing. It's the best for Mackenzie and I have to say I admire you for being so strong. It doesn't sound selfish - it's the opposite. The fact that you're doing this for her just proves how much you love her. I hope everything works out for both of you.

Amy ~ I would tell you not to stress out before you see the results, but you already know that. I hope it'll be okay. Have fun on bowling tomorrow.

Ash, I couldnt agree more with Amy. She said everything that I was trying to say right lol.

Amy, I hope the weather stays clear and that you have a great time bowling. I'm really sorry about your grandma, but you are right by not stressing over it yet. Your stress will probably only make it harder on her. So try to stay strong and just enjoy spending time with her. I will be Praying for her.

Ash , I'm going to choose my words wisely since it's such a touchy situation. You've made the decision to give Mac up for adoption and it doesn't matter what anybody else says or feels. It will be hard, for both you and Mac growing up-esp as when she is a teen. She may not understand or respect it. but, when she becomes an adult she'll learn to appreciate your decision to give her a better life. It's not desertion if you are giving her up for the right reasons. It's not selfish either. It's going to be tough and long road ahead of you.

Amy- so sorry to hear about your gma. But, don't stress out. I know it's hard. I know I stress about my dad and his condition all the time. We can't help it. But try not to let your mind run wild and just have positive thoughts. If you need to talk we're here for ya.