What's everyone up to?

I hope your bf is found and that he/she is unharmed.

Chloe ~ I am so happy for Shane. I'm glad his mom is getting better. I just hope that things don't take a turn for the worst.

Wilda ~ I'm glad your feeling better. I have tried hot showers for the past 2 days and it makes my nose worst but I'm glad I getting all that junk out of there. If only I could breath.

Ash ~ You have to be kidding me. You're 4 months and your dr couldn't tell. If he makes any more mistakes, I suggest you get a different dr.

And I think anyone deserves a day or 2 of doing nothing when they have finished school.

I thought my cold was worse today but I still went to work. I was like no help to the teacher assisant. But now, i am somewhat better except my back is aching now. Then when I was done with work I got suckered in to taking my grandma to a dr appointment. So I rushed to get to the store because I needed tissues (stupid nose) then I rushed to get to her house because I thought the appointment was a 5 pm. I walked in told my grams that iwas taking her and she said it wasn't until 5:30, I was there at the house at 4:30. Okay, a little miscommunication, np. Well we got there waited for half an hour to see the doctor. She was suppose to get a shot only, that was what I was told. Oh no, a whole physical. I was waiting for an hour in the lobby. So by they time she got out it was 7pm. Grams was hungry so we went out for dinner. I took her home and then I went home. I didn't get home until 8:45. Now mind you, I was up at 6am and at work from 8 - 3:45. It was like nonstop.

Oops sorry, I rambled. I just wish the communication was better between my family somethimes.

Rambling doesn't bother me any. I leave for Spain tomorrow and I feel really cheesy and corny because I keep thinking of the song "Final Countdown" as thought this is some epic life changing trip that I may not live through.

Just in case I can't get on anytime soon, I wish everyone well! If you are sick, get better and if you aren't sick, keep it that way!

Yeah, deffinately need a new doctor.

Well my day was full of exams, blech!, and my english teacher tried a failed attempt to watch the World Cup on his computer we succeded but it cut off when the annoucements blared through the room. Jeff was interested. My nose was stuck in a book, of course, Flowers in the Attic and Petals in the Wind. I'm the biggest Chapter Cheater, I'm like skipping to the 2nd book in that series (PITW) I can't help it that it's good!

On the other hand, I went to the doctor today (different one don't worry Amy) and we went to listen to the twins heart beats again to hear two... well we only heard and saw one moving. I don't know what happened but I lost one of them. I'm heart broken, but I just can't believe it happened. I'm going to have surgery to remove the deceased twin and to keep the other one alive. The surgery is set next week. I can't tell you how lost and just empty I feel. Jeff, he isn't doing anything, he is just sitting in our room, starring at the wall.

Sorry if I made anyone upset. I just didn't know who to talk to.

It was a boy, that's all we know.

Wilda : Thankyou!
Oh great Wilda's got her voice back JK! YAAAAAY you're better! Well a little better Im glad
Awesome, my hairs down to my wrists and ive never dyed it. Its too dark to dye really But hmmm..if you want your natural back, go for it

Tasha : Thanks!!
Wooooh! Congrats, you're terribly lucky, my exams are still on..im revising, revising, revising
Yes, you do deserve to have a whine and a moan! I hope you have an amazing day!
Haha! I love you too tasha! And yes, we are cyberly contagious

Amy : Thankyou, i know, i feel the same. Im really hopeful for a good outcome in this. His dad said it happened a few years back aswell, but they didn't tell Shane then
And good, you're kinda better too! I hope you continue on the road to recovery! Ouch..you must be tired...get some rest!

Kiera : Woooooh! HAVE FUN KIERA! And it is a life-changing trip, i can feel it But you will make it through..what do you mean? I'm scared
No, im kidding you'll have an amazing time and you'll come back! again HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ash : You do need a new doctor Ash! 4 months, wow!
Ha! Oh yeaa..England vs USA 1-1 'ey girls? Most of you are from America except me so..atleast we drew huh?
I'm more upset that you have to deal with this Ash! This isn't fair! I hope your heart will be mended
Ofcourse, Jeff is in shock and no doubt distraught, he'll probably feel guilty, i dont know why, but lots of fathers do in this situation? Look after yourself Ash, make sure you talk to people who love you about this and about how you feel. We'll (well i will definately always ...) be here if ever you want to talk.
Shane sends his love and condolences


And he also says that he's greatful for everyones comments on his mothers health x

Ash ~ I'm so sorry. I agree with Chloe. Jeff is probably in shock. Let him know, and this is for you too, that you both can talk to us. It is not good to keep you emotions bottled up. I did that once and had a couple of anxiety attacks. I think you both should talk to each other with your love ones. We're here too. I have my fingers cross, so that you surgery goes well and that the other baby makes it. Good Luck!
And I'm glad you have a different doctor.

Kiera ~ I hope you have a safe and fun trip. And make sure you tell us all about it when you return.

As for me. I am going to take the rest of today and tomorrow to rest. I feel better but I don't at the same time. I can't even concentraite on my book or on reading a book.

I hope everyone's day gets better or is going well.

Ok this made my day. I found on facebook a petition for a VA movie. Go to the link below to check it out.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Vampire-Academy-Movie-Petition/129800247040952

that be cool to make a movie

Ash: I'm so sorry *hugs* Just be around Jeff at the moment. You both need comfort-contact. Being together will help with the shock.

Chloe: I'm glad Shane's happier.

Amy: Ugh, I hope you get better soon. Sickness sucks.

Wilda: Glad you're getting your voice back. From someone who lost their voice recently too, I totally understand how annoying it is being voiceless.

Tasha: I hate when you have plans (or no plans) and then have to change them suddenly, it just sucks, especially when you really need/want to rest. Sometimes you really need that reast day.

Kiera: HAVE FUN IN SPAIN! Be safe, and enjoy yourself. *hugs*


Having fun with my sister, although I voluntarily watched a football match on tv last night, so I think I must be getting sick again. Going to trivia at the pub across the road tonight and then seeing my best friend tomorrow night at her brother's footy game. Apparently it's snowing on the mountains at the moment, but since I'm about a hour and a half from the slopes it's only cold here, no snow Not leaving the house today, can't be bothered. Hope you're all doing well. *hugs and kisses*

Ash, I am ss! I've told you that I've miscarried before so you know I know exactly how you feel. I'm here for both you and Jeff if you wanna talk. And trust me coming from someone whose husband wasn't there for her when the miscarriage happened, you both need eachother. Talk to one another about it, cry, just be there for eachother. And there isn't really a cause for losing a baby at this stage. The dr's told me its just one of those things. So it's no one's fault. Just get plenty of rest you're gonna need it. Sending lots of love and hugs!

Tasha, I'm sorry that you didn't get your day to relax. Hopefully you will this weekend. How many classes are you taking this summer?

Kiera, I hope you have a fun and safe trip! Can't wait to hear about it!

Amy, I'm sry you can't breathe. Hopefully you'll be able to take this weekend and just rest. I hope you get better soon.

Kim, I'm glad you are having a great time!

Chloe, I can't believe your hair is that long! WOW! I've been growing mine out for 2 yrs now and its just now mid-back. I think I am going to dye it back to dark. idk if I will do dark brown (natural) or black. I like it red, But my roots are showing pretty bad and it's only been 8 weeks since i last dyed it and if I keep dying it every 6 weeks my hair is going to be completely fried

Amy : Yeaaaa! You're finally getting your rest that you deserve! Hope you continue to get better

Kim : Thankyou And YAY! You're having fun! Wooooh Well I hope you carry on having a smashing time, and had fun at the trivia at the pub Are you skiing down there? YOu said slopes, so im guessing...? *hugs and kisses*

Wilda : Oh gosh, Wilda im sorry that you had a miscarriage aswell, and that your husband wasn't there for you when you needed him!
Yes, thats what everyone else says aswell Ive gotten used to it now though Its because I wasn't allowed to ever cut my hair shorter, just always had to get a trim, ive only just got a little layering added in. (ballet and my parents ) My sister was the same, but when she turned 18, she cut her hair straight into a bob, suits her really well though so ..
Hmmm..well you said that you have cherokee (think thats how you spelt it ) in you, so either dark brown or black would suit you. Maybe go for natural for now, then if you still want a change again, go with black Up to you though really Yeaa, i know someone like that, but then she dyed her hair since she was 9?!

Bless all of you and your loving hearts and souls.

I don't think I can do this. Jeff won't speak, move, or do anything. He runs away whenever I get near him.
He blames me for losing him, I don't think I'll ever be on here again, my heart just can't take it.

Ash ~ Don't leave us. We are here to help you. Talk to us as much as you want or as little as you want, just don't leave us. As for Jeff, he can't blame you. It is not your fault that the baby passed. Miscarriages happen all the time. I know you said he leaves when you come near him but you have to get him to talk. He is placing his anger towards the wrong person. It is no one's fault. I hate to say this but if he continues with this then maybe...maybe you should leave him for a bit until he realizes that he is wrong to blame you and that there is still a baby that needs both mom and dad.

PLease take car of yourself and the baby and Jeff. Things will get better. You need faith, love, and determination to get through the tough times.

Ash you can't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. You have to try talking to him again, and keep calm, it's hard but necessary

My sister graduated Tuesday! and after we went to Applebees and a walmart 45 minutes away because it was the only thing open at 1am :O

NO ASH! you cant leave us! LIke Amy said, we are here for you, we can help you. You need people to talk to now, that is us!
I know we can't do much in the way of bringing back your child, but we can listen and give advice just as Amy and kim have just then We all love you like you were a sister! Well i definately do anyway If you really don't want to stay, then Im not going to force you, but i think it will be best if you stayed. Maybe take a break from here if you feel so bad, but i really dont think you should leave forever!
Jeff cant think its your fault because it wasnt. YOu cant blmae yourself, i cant stress that enough! Nothing in this was your fault!
Try talking to him like Kim said. Or get Dylan to talk to him Honest sweetie, this is NOT YOUR FAULT!

Ash, maybe you should take a break and go stay with your parents. Give Jeff some space. Let him grieve in his own way for now. Give it a few days and then try to talk to him again. I've been there so I know how you both feel. I went into a state where I didn't talk to anyone. if anyone brought it up I walked away. It's hard. Neither of you are to blame. Miscarriages happen a lot more often than you think. A bunch of my friends have been through them. My mom went through 2 before I was born and my sister has been through 1. I think she was having twins and lost both. But I know how hard it is and I know hearing that it wasn't your fault and these things just happen doesn't help. But it is the truth. Don' leave us. Take some time to grieve but please don't leave us unless you must. I'll understand if you do. My email is Wilda85@aol.com if you leave and still wanna talk. I'm still here for you.

Ash, we're here if u want to talk. Time will heal.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to stop by and wish all those a Happy Father's Day. :-)

And to you aswell Tasha!
My father isn't coming home today He's gone to see his father in Vienna somewhere
What is everyone doing with teir fathers today?

And oops, im sorry Wilda, i didn't mean for anything that i said to make matters worse!
And again, im sorry that you had to go through that

Stay strong Ash, and stick with your family and loved ones. And I agree with Wilda x

And also, you can email me or Shane if you need to. Im not really sure how to use my email though because its just weird and confusing
Shane's email : smacy@hotmail.co.uk
My email : lilalovesballet@aol.co.uk

So today is Father's Day and I di something I don't normally do. I went to 2 car shows with my mom and dad. I really don't like to hang out with my parents but I got lunch out of it. But it was pretty cool. Got a sunburn, again. I got one on Friday from mowing the lawn, too. Oh well. That's what I get for having fair skin and not putting on sun screen.

I hope everyone's weekend is going well and Happy Father's Day to all Dads, Dads-to-be, and Grandpas. Whether your with us or not, I'm thinking of you.

Lol, it's not father's day here until September.

Had an AWESOME weekend. My best friend stayed with me at my sister's place, and her brother turned up yesterday too...so we all had a relaxing sunday and a fun weekend.
Hope everyone's doing well.

I think I owe you all an apology for leaving like I did.

I'm terribly selfish for just putting all this on the people who love me the most on here. I just felt like my life was spinning and never stopping.

I did get Jeff to speak to me. Hit me. Then he broke down crying and speaking in a somewhat comprehensibile language. We sat and talked for hours yesterday. He told be he doesn't blame me and that he loves me more than anything. Same old same old. But I need to tell you something more important. I actually lsot Christophe on Wednsday. I didn't have the strength to tell any of you. I feel like such a jerk and a coward for doing all this to you. DOn't give me pitty and sympathy, I don't deserve it.

I'm a terrible person for ever loving Jeff and giving him this pain. I'm a horrible mother for ever promising both twins a life with me and him.

I should be glad I am practically dying, then I can go and see Christophe.

Jeff hit you? Or am I reading that wrong?
Don't wish for death, that's horrible. Ash, you've done NOTHING wrong. Do you hear me? When you lose someone you love it's understandable that you won't have the strength to talk about it, even in typing form. You can't be expected to hold yourself together 100% of the time. There's no way anyone can do that, it's not humanly possible. Please, please try to keep calm and stop blaming yourself.

Ash ~ Listen to Kim. When you lose someone you love you are not expected to hold yourself 100%. Death is not the answer. Love is the answer. Love anf faith. Faith in yourself, faith in Jeff, faith in your beliefs. I'm glad you an Jeff are talking but I don't like it that he hit you. I'm sure he is sorry and I can only imagine your pain but that was not called for. Keep talking to us, Jeff and other friends and family when you need to. You are in my thoughts.

Ash : Look, im sorry, but sympathy is what you deserve. Not pity, because you are not a pitiable person You are strong and you will get through this. Jeff hit you? You better be okaa! And im glad you spoke to him and hopefully everything is resolved between the two of you?
You owe no one an apology other than yourself, for not treating yourself right!
You are not a terrible person!
Jeff fell in love with you on his own accord, and is still in love with you because he wants to be! You cannot blame yourself for the paths love takes Ash. You didn't inflict pain apon him. And you are not a terrible mother?! You are and will forever be a wonderful mother

And what do you mean yo're dying? You mean as in to say you are ill or that you cannot continue to try?
And don't you dare! Don't you dare be so rude?! You will hurt everyone who loves you if you give up Ash! You will break everyone, everyone!
Keep yourself together for the ones that love you if not yourself, you owe it!