I Have To Leave I'm Sorry

me too.

well Jeff is mad because his friends keep rubbing in his face that thye lost thier virg and they make fun of him because he hasnt but he dosent care he respect me too much to say "Ok im sad lets get it on." and im not ready anyone

(message to Jeff) they rub it in because they probably regret giving theirs up. don't let it get you down and i'm glad you respect Ash otherwise i'd have to find a way to kick your ass. keep to your promise and ignore their words. you have nothing to be jealous or sad about. they have a reason to be jealous though.. you're with an AMAZING girl like Ash and they're not! if they try to rub they unpuritiness in your face just rub your AMAZING girlfriend in theirs! works every time.

ash to bec: thanks hes gonna say something here 's jeff:

Jeff to Bec: thanks babe i appreciate it and yeah they are obviously regretful about it. i wont and i love her too much to hurt her. i dont think so either envy is ugly, im not giving up my pretty personality it will make my woman here mad . I know thye wish they had this SLT (sexy little thing) i'm blessed to have her. wow i guess i will bastards dont know what love is, thye broke up with the um (bad word) after they did do it. hurt the girls alot. and my AMAZING girlfriend even comforted them she probably the best thing i have in my life. (kisses Ashleigh)

ash to bec: *kisses Jeff* god wow Bec you got some good stuff out of him are you some kind of mirical worker?

Bec to Ash: i don't know... maybe it's with other people...

Bec to Jeff: here's my logic for making them jealous. it starts out as jealousy but then it turns to wonder. they wonder if he can have a girl like that can i? then eventualty some of them, the ones who really want a love like that, will go through themselves and try and change what they don't like. the ones who don't stay at jealousy. the ones who change what the don't like eventualy own up to their mistakes and find out what love is. sometimes envy is ugly but can be used for a good thing.

Bec to Ash: your welcome

ash to bec: guess so.

Jeff to Bec: good logic they need to grow up honestly. im friends with one of them and they are always asking me what i did to get Ashleigh nad why she choose me. im like i just told her what we both wanted to hear and that i loved her more than for what shes been through. i told her i was here for her and wouldnt let anyone hurt her. she, i guess, never felt guilty i can see that, but felt love for me, which she latter told and showed me that she really did. i cant thank her enough for giving me another chance. after what shes been through i think she needed someone there for her no matter what. and all the shit we went through together and the way that dude Demetri hurt her and Alex i think she wanted nothing more but someone like me to help her. And i needed her too ive been through alot.

Bec to Ash: i should learn to help myself sometimes too.. oh well that'll come in time...

Bec to Jeff: see it's working already. lol. i'm glad you found each other and she's told me somethings but not all which is fine. if you guys choose to share things with me it shouldn't be under pressure it should be because you want to. everyone should be given a choice. with me if you ever want to know something just ask, if i don't want to tell i'll say so. most times i will though.

Bec to Ash: sent the last of my story.....

ash to bec: yeah gotta work on that.

Jeff to Bec: I guess it is. me too. i love her so much and we only found each other because i was going through a depression that i delt on her but she never gave up and she told me what those two basatards did to her i got out of my depression to help her with her's. it won't be you feel like a really good friend to me nad when i say that it doesnt get taken lightly most people want to stay away from me but im not scary am i Ashleigh? *ash shakes head* i guess not one thing she did help me with was my suicide attempt. that really showed that she loved me.

ash to bec: i got it.

Bec to Ash: yea i do

Bec to Jeff: you just made me want to cry, i'm choking back tears right now. you're not scary at all. if you want to know what Ash was talking to me about earlier feel free. just make sure iit's fine with her. i'm glad you two are better now. i'm working to get there.

Bec to Ash: k

ash to bec: good good.

Jeff to Bec: i'm sorry to make you cry Ashleigh broke down when she read it too. i would like to hear it please.

ash to bec: k, its cool with me i dont mind you can tell him he has a right to know.

Bec to Jeff: it wasn't a bad thing. it just really touched me. in a good way. i warn you though Jeff, my story isn't pretty, if you wan to read it go ahead but... i'm not proud of myself for what i did. i don't have a happy ending yet...

Bec to Ash: let him read it.. don't give him the edited version.... give him the truth... the whole truth.. let him read the messages...

Bec to Jeff: message me or something when you're done....

ash to bec: ok i kinda already let him read it while i was cleaning up

Jeff to Bec: yeah i read it. it was sad and you really didnt make a mistake. you were just confused. and im glad it isnt bad. just remember you are young and have yet to learn and find out what love can and will do for you. we speak from experience. i read from the part where you started having feelings for Forrest then read all after that Ash explained the rest of the beggining in full detail. wow just follow your heart babe all will get well i promise and if it doesnt then you can kick my ass for being wrong. but i doubt Ashleigh will allow it.

Bec to Ash: no porblem

Bec to Jeff: in a way i did, i let him rule over me and in a way he still does. i hope your right Jeff. i really want you to be right. but right now... it doesn't seem like it. and i don't kick peoples asses for being wrong. i kick someones ass for hurting someone i care about. my heart got me into this in the first place though Jeff. how can i trust it now?

ash to bec: good good

Jeff to Bec: its ok i promise everything will get better. and i hope im right too. well you certianly worked up to the Ashleigh ranks in my books she and you are alot alike suprisingly. the only way to trust it is to let it know its being controlled by you not them. do not "go out" with them find the true love attraction not the sexual apparentcey. I've learned not to let myslef get my hopes up about people sometimes. i wa with a couple of "nice" girls before i met the love of my life. they broke my heart. i didnt think it was possible but it was the first one litterally took my heart and sherreded it. she made out with a dude in front of me who by the way was my friend ex now. the other one played me for a fool. strung me along to get to another guy. made him jealous then dumped me for him. then left him for her best friend man i felt stupid and so did the other guy. i never took her for a gay. but those made me mad enough to hurt ashleigh. i got reallt depressed and began to hit Ashleigh without knowing i was doing it. she never left me though. she knew if it got to the poit that i would kill her she would just stay and help me. she was like my little nurse i'd call it a punching bag but she said it wasnt my fault it was the other's nad my dad's. he's drinker he left a month ago after beating the hell out of me and my older sister. it pissed me off that i guess i got so mad i hit Ashleigh to get rid of it. i never hurt her face or torso i mainly just hit her arms and left bruses where igripped so hard that i couldnt let her leave me. i neded her but i just was so mad nad she only took it with grace nad never showed how much it hurt her to see me like i was.

Bec to Jeff: how are we alike? and how is it surprising? i'm really sorry by the way for what happened to you. just PLEASE *pleads* don't hit her again ok? i understand about the shreaddeing part. mine's shattered. i'm going to hope and pray your promise can be kept. i really don't want to feel like this any more.

Jeff to Bec: you both are strong, independent, loving, and heart broken individuals who helped each other. It's surprising because most people arent like her. she has no replica but i think i've found one im not stupid. I wont i promise, she doesnt hate me for it she loves me for all my flaws and i love her for hers. that's what love is about right? love each other no matter what. ok i think i'm going to kick some cyber ass right now they shouldnt be aloud to do that! me too and i dont want you to feel like that either. it hurts both us to see it.

Bec to Jeff: i'm only strong sometimes, right now i actually feel very weak. and yes that's what loves about. i just had to ask that you didn't. why are you kicking cyber ass? who shouldn't be aloud to do what? i'm sorry to be hurting you guys.

Jeff to Bec: dont be or feel weak. it ok i wont. those morons asses is who im going to kick the ones that tore you up. all the guys who messed up and hurt your heart. you not hurting us we r hurting for you dont have to apologize.

Bec to Jeff: i normally feel weak when i relive my story, it'll pass. one guy. not many. it only took one. i bared my heart and soul to Brandon. i took a chance. he destroyed me. it was only him.

Jeff to Bec: oh ok that makes sense. well dont let it happen again Ashleigh here will make sure of it.

Ash to Bec: yupp im here for ya hun.

Bec to Jeff: i'll try not to but i can't make any promises.

Bec to Ash: i'm going to give you a heads up, i tend to evade questions and act differently when somethings up, if youo have something you want to know at those times you need to make it directly known.

Bec to Both: i feel extremely stupid. my leg hurts because of it.

Jeff to Bec: Sorry we had a date. but yeah i'll hold you to it.

Ash to Bec: gotcha. i will make sure to ask directly. i dont let my friends down or hurt at any time. i will try to help the best i can.

Both to Bec. Why??

Bec to Jeff: no problem and i'll try but i can't promise.

Bec to Ash: thanks Ash

Bec to Both: i was straighteniong my hair and put the straightener ont my pant lge of my capris and i moved my leg and i burnt myself. i should know better than to put a straightener on my leg. lol. but i did it anyway. lol. feeling much better today, saw Brandon. bought chocolate from him. that helped a lot. now if only i could solve problems with Davian with eating chocolate and feeling better. . .

ah babe im sorry i hope it gets better.

Jeff went home
im upset i need him today ive been feeling down and i ache all over

so do i =(

anything i can help with?

me too.

not unless you can make Jeff reappear. but yeah im having issas with my friend